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Thoughts from Dr. Joe: All's fair in politics and marriage

November 13, 2013|By Joe Puglia

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition — the moratorium is over! After two months of staying mum due to the school board elections, I can finally write my wife's name, Kaitzer.

I write these columns looking for the yin and yang of an issue; it brings humor to the story. Kaitzer is definitely the yang. During the campaign there was a lot of humor about the yang.

The ancients believed the world was divided in half: man and woman. The gods and goddesses kept the world stable bringing harmony when they were in balance. It was the yin and yang. When the sexes were out of balance, the result was disastrous. But they found humor amid calamity. I have a penchant for hilarity. After eight weeks of going through the political process with Kaitzer as a La Cañada school board candidate, I can write a sitcom.

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I am just not a pretty face, and I am no stranger to the political process. As matter of fact, in 1960 I ran for patrol leader of the pirate patrol for Troop 136 in the Bronx. I was running against Vinnie Amato, the most loathsome kid at school. I won. By one vote. So it wasn't a mandate.

After an eight-week campaign, I fully understand Churchill's contention, “Democracy is the worst form of government except for all the others that have been tried.”

I had a minor role in Kaitzer's successful campaign. I placed the lawn signs. It's not glamorous, especially with gas being four bucks a gallon. It's like being picked last in the schoolyard. Yet I drove around town in the Kaitzer truck, with her face plastered on the windows. She thought it was hubris to have four pictures of her pinned to the windows of my ugly truck.

“Joe, I'm glad you took the, ‘Vote for Kaitzer sign' off the truck,” she said. Her face turned blue when I replied, “I didn't take it off, it fell off on the 210.”

Nevertheless I accomplished my mission even though I was handicapped by the fact that I am slightly dyslexic. I tend to reverse numbers, so instead of looking for a house address No. 4784, I'm trying to find 4748. I upset a lot of people driving 2 miles an hour, backing up traffic looking for an address that wasn't there. The story gets worse! Try forcing a lawn sign into compacted soil. Rarely did I have a house with Saint Augustine grass.

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