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Civility: The journey's end, or its beginning?

February 23, 2011|By Diana Olson

Dear Readers: This is the end of the beginning of the journey between Blaine and Briar, at least for now. I will let you know if anything comes of this relationship that did not have the best of beginnings. What follows are the last two communications between Briar and me.

Briar: I am so glad that you were wise enough to see beyond Blaine’s initial “foot-in-mouth” comment. From the way he handled everything (especially with seeking advice), I could tell that Blaine was a thoughtful gentleman and probably would never intentionally offend. Also, he mentioned that his mother always taught him to treat women with respect. That code of behavior is important to him. I doubt seriously if he is a womanizer.

Your reconsideration of a meeting with Blaine may be an incredibly wise decision that may change your life. I wish you both a wonderful journey in getting to know each other. I am so glad that I could help. Do keep in touch. — Diana

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Diana: I may have judged him a bit too harshly during our first conversation. Maybe it was just the wrong comment at the wrong time, and Blaine took the collective slap for all of the jerks I've had to deal with in the past. It's true that I have an hourglass figure (large bust, full hips, etc.) and while I'm completely comfortable with my curves, they can be both a blessing and a curse. When you finally meet a nice guy who seems genuinely interested in you and then the conversation degenerates into a discussion about the shape of your body, it can be very frustrating. “Nice hourglass figure” sort of feels like “nice rack,” and then the Kim Kardashian comparison.....yikes, that was just a bit too much. I'm 33 and getting tired of the dating game, and my patience has worn a bit thin. So I just wanted to give you the complete context. But in any case, I'm ready to start anew with Blaine and see where things might go. Thanks, again. — Briar

Briar: I completely understand. When I was 33, I met this wonderful man who was so authentic, sincere, and genuine. My mom always said that when I met the right person, I immediately would know it. I did — and bells rang in my heart. I never dated anyone else after I met him. We married the next year and have been happily married for many years.

You reaction seems understanding as one of disappointment and frustration. But both of you were wise to reach out to each other and start over.

It is a situation where civility has prevailed, and hopefully there will be a happy ending. Briar, do keep in touch and invite me to the wedding if this journey goes in the right direction. — Diana

DIANA OLSON, MA AICI CIP, etiquette & civility specialist/image stylist can be reached at (626) 584-9761 or e-mail: olsonco465@aol.com, or www.dianaolson.com

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