Thoughts from Dr. Joe:

I tossed and turned all night; couldn’t sleep a wink. I was reeling from the weekend in Sacramento. I took my students to the Leadership Institute and lectured on “Character Development through Adventure Based Education.” I was perplexed why I couldn’t rest, as I could average only four hours of sleep at night.

Dawn never comes when you wait for it. The night gets blacker and so does one’s thoughts. Salvation from nocturnal demons comes only through activity. As I folded my second load of laundry, I found the catharsis between my fears and my restlessness. Simone was leaving on a field trip. It would be her first time away from home and I was not prepared for this eventuality.

Tempered by the mean streets of the Bronx and by experiencing unparalleled violence, I’ve fashioned a toughness that has assured my survival. Now none of that mattered. Simone would be gone for five days and I felt listless.

Dawn’s first light appeared and I realized the answer to my dismay. Moments of vulnerability are conducive to introspection.

A vivid scene unfolded, and again I experienced the haunting moments of when I first left home. I was 18 and leaving for college. I remember carrying a suitcase and a typewriter and watching my mom standing silently in front of our building at 233rd St. As I got in the car, she never said a word, but stood motionless and began to cry. We pulled away from the curb. I watched her through the rear window; her tears became a sob. Time stood still and our view of each other lingered. We drove down the street and she remained motionless, flooding her hands with tears. We remained staring at each other till she disappeared from view. I never forgot that picture and if I were an artist I could draw it.

Although I came home often, I really never came back. Home became a place I visited while waiting for the rest of my life. That was 44 years ago. I am still haunted by that memory.

The past reawakens and finds us when we are most vulnerable.

I know it’s a parent’s job to prepare for the eventuality of their child’s quest for independence. This transition is an assertion of selfhood and a societal goal is to leave home successfully, tempered for the emotional, social and psychological challenges of adulthood

Leaving home is a challenging period in life, fraught with conflicting feelings and needs, the earnest desire for independence and autonomy, alongside the fear of failure and the continuing sense of dependence on parents.