The best of our people and churches strive to meet the challenge at its highest level. A progressive growth of tolerance might look something like this:
All-out bigotry: I hate (those people) and want them gone
Burgeoning social skills: I won’t say out loud that I hate (those people), and will be more careful where I tell jokes about them
Bare tolerance: I guess it’s OK for (those people) to live, as long as they stay in their place, and have nothing to do with me
Grudging acceptance: It’s OK for (those people) to be around me, just as long as they pretend they’re just like me, and I don’t have to change anything about my life to accommodate them
Actual respect: (Those people) have an important and lovely point of view and experience of life, which makes the world a better place
Mutual inclusion: Those people are my people; our lives enrich one another.
Most so-called battles for inclusion seem to take place at the level of grudging acceptance, with tolerant co-existence being called equality. And I guess since so many are still too much acquainted with bigotry, tolerance isn’t a bad goal to fight for. Clearly we as a country still have room for improvement on that level.
Yet the highest level of respect not only tolerates, but seeks and values what is different about the other. It actively seeks to be enriched and enlightened by the wisdom of others, to be enlarged and delighted by new perspectives.
My prayer is that every church will continue intentional progress toward modeling this highest level of mutuality, nodding at tolerance as it climbs past it, toward a greater love and deeper valuing of all its neighbors.--The Rev. Amy Pringle is the rector of St. George's Episcopal Church in La Canada.
